Many of us feel that several times throughout our lives
When I finished my Chemistry degree I felt so aimless.
It wasn't helped by a recession that meant many recruitment doors were closed. So I did a Diploma from the Institute of Personnel Management.
I learnt how to ethically manage and had a placement with a company.
This company's Personnel Officer was going on holiday so they needed someone to fill her place.
So I did.
I found that lessons in managing people are different from actually managing but I enjoyed that difference
and so did the staff at the company.
During that course I met Liz. Thus began a link that transcended the limited definitions of friendship, relationship and family.
She heard me sing and trained me to sing better...
After the Diploma I got the job working at the industrial chemical company.
But the evenings were special. Singing for the different bands.
It was personally a confusing time on several levels. I poored my thoughts into the poetry I wrote.
When I read them now I realise just how angry I was. How confused I was...
And when I was writing poetry in hospital...
How frightened I was.
When I left the university in 2007 I wasn't scared. I felt so free.
It seemed that all my creative thoughts were firing at once.
For the first time I began rapidly creating art pieces. 'The Sparrow and the Squirrel'. 'Trinity'. 'The Waterfall'. 'Winter Solstice'. One straight after the other. 'Orca'. 'Within My Arms'. 'Face to Face'. 'The Venetian'.
Some contained my poetry as well. It was poetry that was as good as anything I'd written before. They were often epic - spread over several pages.
And then my second novel. Binaries.
I'd so little time to write it while at university. I had written about three chapters in about three years.
From late 2007 to late 2008 I wrote the other 12 chapters to finish the book.
In that time I'd also created 17 large art pieces.
I made a application for my first art exhibition. I wrote to publishing agencies about my novel.
In late 2008 I re-started my PhD.
2009 would become an adventure...